Nobody is coming to save you (and here’s why that’s a good thing) part 3

If you missed part 1, or part 2, you can click back and read those.

So healing is a group effort, and we actually have to take an active role in bettering our own lives. This isn’t a game of hot potato just tossing your power away (even though we might all like that) and it isn't enough to just say a few affirmations, think positively and boom.

HOW do we actually work with the nervous system to flip that switch out of activation and towards healing?

It comes down to safety. What the heck does that mean?

Remember when I said your body doesn’t know the difference between being chased by a wild animal and an email? Or a grumpy stranger in line and someone who wants to murder you? Yeah, that.

As we experience chronic stress, or trauma, our bodies are primed to look for that threat so we can prevent whatever happened from happening again. So the nervous system is scanning, trying to find the danger, trying to protect you and keep you safe. To let the nervous system know we’re actually ok, we have to also then find cues of safety.

This is something you can do intentionally, and I’m going to show you how.

So let’s do a little experiment together (remember we’re being curious). Where are you? Maybe it’s your living room, your bedroom, wherever you are the fact that you’re reading this blog post lets me know you’re probably not in active danger. Can you look around wherever you are, and just double check there are no tigers lurking in corners, no one waiting to jump out and kill you?

It sounds funny, but remember when I said the nervous system needs to feel it to believe it. It’s not enough just to know there are no tigers or murderers, you need to prove it to yourself.

Good? Ok, now I want you to let me know what sensations you’re aware of that let you know where you are in this moment? Are you sitting in a chair? Can you feel the fabric of your shirt? We’re using body language, not brain language.

What does it feel like to let those things be? To notice them? To notice you’re not actually in active danger right now?

What we’ve just done is show our nervous system we’re not in active danger, that we’re actually safe enough. This is just a tiny snippet of what it means to establish somatic safety.

The more we layer in this noticing, layer in signs of safe enough, the more we can make way to begin to shift our state. It’s slow, and requires patience and curiosity, but it’s not impossible.

In part 4 we’re gonna talk about how reconnecting to this felt sense of safety can help you take your power back